Boundaries and Writing
I made the mistake, the one that every freelancer warns about. It’s so hard, isn’t it? You think you have a flexible schedule, and you find yourself giving away an hour here, an hour there. What’s a half-day here? A little time there?
And suddenly, writing full-time has become writing three or four days a week.
Oopsy.
Long story short, I sat down with my schedule tonight. I need to undo some commitments, particularly the non-paying kind. Not my volunteering day. That’s a sacred day. The other sacred day is Glenn day. He didn’t hit the road so he can watch me write; we need to go out and see stuff, once a week. And taking one day off every week won’t kill me.
Right?
So that leaves five days, and I truly need five full days of writing, with no errands, hour-here or hour-there stuff in the middle of the day.
Um, duh, it’s a full-time job.
I know lots of moms run around in between writing snatches. Some thrive while writing amidst chaos. Others, like Nora Roberts, shut their office door, and there better be blood or fire if her kids interrupt her. (Or did: they’re grown now.)
The bit about Nora does give me some relief. In the middle of stressing about this, I did have a moment of panic: if I let life get to my writing with NO kids, how am I going to do it WITH kids?
Still just a little panicky about that, but MILLIONS of moms work full-time jobs while raising kids. And I wouldn’t mind the door being open. What really kills my productivity is running to the store, doing errands, or doing an hour class here or whatnot.
Lastly, all the studies show that for optimum creativity, you need to have the butt in chair at a regular time, so the biorhythms or some such thing know when to show up. And this isn’t exactly a business where you can thrive with sub-optimum creativity.
*sigh*
I’ve been stressing about this for days. Sometimes, you just have to say, “I can’t do that, I’m sorry.”
So what about you? How do you enforce boundaries around your writing? Do you aim for a regular time? Or do you work best with a day-to-day, flexible schedule that changes? And do you stress out about saying no? How do you say no?
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Natasha Fondren is a writer traveling the U.S. in a camper with her four cats. She is currently enjoying the lizards and desert heat in Arizona.
It’s rough. My FIL died early on Saturday morning. I’m giving my husband much more attention this week. Times like this, you have to say the hell with work.
Other than that, I don’t have a writing schedule. I wish I did. I’ve tried, but can’t stick to it. Instead I seem to work off and on all day and into the night. Right now, I’m going to see if the skating is on at the Olympics yet.
Good luck with your schedule.
Edie, I’m sorry! Yes, definitely, priorities!
I do prefer your method. That’s what I was doing for awhile, but when I’m running out to do this or that, it’s too much of an interruption for me. I’m hoping next week will be much better!
I’m off my day job every other Friday. And then there’s the weekend. I hardly write at all during the week, but I think about it a lot and then have stuff ‘prepared’ for when I do sit down and write. The problem is that time is also for chores and stuff and it’s too easy to say ‘I’ll write later’.
Wow, that’s a nice schedule, Sarah! Although, yeah, when you add in chores and junk, time gets sucked away fast!
I try to take one day during the work week where I can take a few hours and play hooky. Doctor’s visits, lunch with friends… whatever.
Otherwise, I try to be here after my workout. That comes first (unless we have yet another 2-hour delay…).
I wish my family honored a closed-door policy; I’d get more done. As is evidenced by the amount I *do* get done when they’re not here.
That’s great, Susan! I think I need to go back to a 6-day a week schedule. Next year, probably, I shouldn’t do all this stuff!
I can’t believe all the snow this year!
Sometimes it’s hard. I get increasingly crabby when extraneous things suck up the writing time and I suppose it starts to be obvious when I’m glaring at the people who are impinging on my time. But you’ve got to treat it pretty much like any other job and say, “No, I’m working right now.”
Me too, Mark! I’ve taken to reminding people that I work a full-time job. In a campground of retirees, it’s going to take some reminding, i think, for them to understand!
You know, this post poses some ponderous thinking. When I worked full time I managed to keep the house clean and the laundry caught up. I factored in time for appointments, attending school functions for my kid and whatnot.
And then I self-retired. And then the writing bug struck and I stayed in the seat non-stop, dashing off reams of brilliance…okay, reams of writing.
And then, just like that, writing became haphazard. I developed excuses instead of stories. Finally, life butted in and now I struggle, always telling myself that when the dog is better, or the house is more settled, or the moon is in the Seventh House, I’ll start writing with regularity once again.
Is there a fiber-rich drink for writer’s constipation?
I wish there were, Kath! (Coffee? Cocoa?)
It seems like I struggle to write unless ALL I DO is write. Like an object in motion, stays in motion, LOL. Like you said, if I stay in the seat non-stop…
I work best with a reasonably regular time slot.
Me too, Bernita.
Most of my fiction writing consists of co-authoring an occasional mystery novel so the amount of time I need is small compared to many writers, although I am very slow. I don’t try to force myself to work regular hours. I filled out a time card for too any years! However, what I do is to treat the novel writing (which admittedly doesn’t amount to a living) like my legal writing work (which does amount to a living). I schedule a few weeks at a time to spend on nothing but the novel, just as I schedule time for writing each legal article. It’s actually good for both kinds of work. The fiction doesn’t get short shrift because I’m trying to fit it in around my real work and the real work doesn’t suffer because I’m thinking about the novel I’d prefer to be writing.
That’s awesome, Eric. I sorta envy that you’re snowed in! I work better in big blocks, too. I feel like I need to clear everything from my schedule except writing. Not possible, but it sure would help!
I know of what you speak. It’s amazing how ones time can get sucked up. It requires constant vigilance.
Constant vigilance. Yes! Exactly, Charles! That’s going to become my mantra.
Stop blogging! Unless you’re a published author with a new book out that needs to be promoted – it’s a huge time-waster.
We have to have our fun somewhere, Josephine! Besides, I should do a tiny part in the anthologies. My pseudonym doesn’t blog at all. She has, but really, I don’t think blogging actually sells books.
I can attest that writing with children–of any age–around is very, very hard. My daughter is now 17 and she still interrupts and makes me feel guilty if I’m not paying attention to her.
I was happy when she went to CA for 2 weeks and I thought I could write in peace and without guilt, but what do you know? Her CAT became depressed and stressed out without her and kept crying for my attention. If I didn’t let her lay on me (usually right on my chest, wrapped over my neck and arms) she would carry on as if she were dying. It was just like having a kid around. Sheesh.
(And you’d think I could just shut the door and ignore here – and I did try it – but if you heard the degree of anguish you wouldn’t have been able to leave her out there either.)
Aw, Kate! That is SO sweet and sad and cute! Ittle Bittle gets SO depressed when Glenn leaves, too!
Edie I’m so sorry!
I finally broke my addiction to celebrity gossip sites and that’s given me several hours a day. Once I started getting paid for my writing it was a lot easier to push things aside.
My best friend was just teasing me that once I get a job I won’t have time for bloging anymore. That’s scary!
What I fear, Melanie, is that you won’t have time for Facebook! Or blogging!
I like reading on Nora Roberts writing life.
As for the Glenn and you, I’d love to be on the open road like that. I hope you find some balance in your schedule so the two of you can experience the road and of course, still get your work finished.
Happy Writing!
Me too, Christina! She’s inspiring to me!
It’s tough! And I seem to be staying in Az longer than expected: I’m addicted!!!
I’m getting worse and worse at carving aside time for myself to write. But when I tell myself, I’m sitting down from X to X, and that will be my writing time, I’m way better. Plus, I don’t know about you, but I need breaks. 15 minutes every hour or so keeps me fresh. And tea and snacks (you know me).
Natasha, I found an amazing new tea. Well, probably thousands of years old but new for me. It’s called “gunpowder” green tea. But it’s loose, so you need a filter. Any interest, my camping friend?
You know, I was JUST thinking yesterday that I too rarely take the time to make my tea before I write. I’m SO in love with that Japanese Cherry tea. It has to be the best tea ever.
Really? What’s it taste like? Sounds fascinating! I used to collect teas, but that was back when Mint Medley was a find. I was ten. Before I left my house, I had a WHOLE cupboard of just tea! A whole cupboard!
It pretty much tastes like green tea, but with a nice smoky flavor. Yum. Yum. It gives you a little jolt, though. It might be a bit high on the caffeine scale.