A Medium-Paced Life
When I hit the road, I wanted a slower life. I’d been working pretty much every hour of every day, either teaching or writing. For the last ten years, I took only four or five days off a year, and that’s with a seven-day workweek, not a five-day workweek.
Also, I wanted to have one job.
I never meant for writing to be a job. It just sprung up into my life, and pretty soon it filled every second I wasn’t teaching.
Eight years after I wrote my first story, I hit the road, writing full-time.
Wow. It was something. One job. Working one job has to be the COOLEST. But last month, my time got filled with fun campground stuff, because they have a ton of activities. 99% of the campground residents are retirees, so there’s lots of Texas Hold ‘Em to play (I’m pretty good at it), lots of potlucks, dinners, breakfasts, parties, etc.
I really love it. A lot. I love the people, all of them.
But last week, I realized my life had slowed down too much. I realized I was only working full-time hours on three or four days a week. I got totally derailed when Glenn came back, with all the running to doctors and nurses and such, at the same time when the campground calendar filled with more and more activities.
Oddly, I’ve been thinking back to when I was younger, and how ambitious I was. True, I have goals now, but they are more related to lifestyle than to achievement. Sometimes I worry they are too process-oriented, rather than achievement-oriented.
I know the first is considered more “healthy,” but I think a little of the second is good for us, too.
Do you find that drive and ambition changes in one’s late thirties? Or is it just me? Can that old drive be reactivated, or is it best left in our memory? If yes, then how?
Awesome song for inspiration:
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Natasha Fondren is a writer traveling the U.S. in a camper with her four cats. She is currently enjoying the lizards and desert heat in Arizona.
Late thirties? That’s when the ‘go have a baby now, you idiot’ hormones kicked in. Never did have that baby. But I digress…
Late forties for me now. And I’m wanting to do it all and finding I just can’t. At least not as quickly as I would like.
I once worked full time and went to school full time. Got by on 4 hours sleep a day and routinely stayed awake for more than 28 hours at a stretch. I could do that to my body then and not pay a heavy price.
So as time marches on, my desire to achieve gets stronger, but my ability to physically push myself recedes. It’s a delicate balancing act that I’m still trying to get right.
Oh boy, Sarah, the want-baby hormones are SCREAMING. I mean SCREAMING! I’m desperate!
When I was in school, I used to be able to do that. In my twenties, I got mono and then CFS and FM, and for many years, I was lucky to get one good hour a week, let alone a day. I think I’m fully recovered, but let me tell you, I could not, in my wildest dreams, keep up with these retirees. I just don’t have that kind of energy. I envy it!
I think it does change in the late thirties. I think that’s when you decide a full life is more important than working all hours of the day. But I also think you work smarter.
Besides, you made a huge change in your life. It takes time to adjust, so be kind to yourself. I’m still adjusting.
Edie, so true! And true about the smarter, too.
Thank you. You’re right. I’m pretty hard on myself, sometimes!
Does drive and ambition change in one’s late thirties? I only wish I could remember back that far. Well, actually, my first marriage blew up as I approached and passed forty which changed a lot of things. For years I’d been going down a rather boring but straight highway — job, family, kids, house, that whole lot — then the highway was gone, obliterated. So I can’t really say if my ideas about things woud have changed otherwise.
That sounds awful, Eric, but you ended up in such a cool place.
Btw, I am LOVING the opening for Eight!
Yes, it worked out in the end! I hope you enoy the book!
I agree with Edie. One becomes more precise with ambition.
This is true, Bernita. I didn’t think of it that way.
yes, things change as you age. I am not sure if it was exactly mid-30s for me or not, but I know I have changed. It’s necessary to make Quality of Life Decisions every now and then, to make what works well better, and to jettison that which does not work.
PS: I’m seeing dr. today. huzzah!
Ooh, Elizabeth, what’d the doctor say?
Very true. Quality of Life is much higher on the priority list than it used to be!
I think drive and ambition can change just based on what you are doing, how long you’ve been doing it, and what else is pulling you in your life. I had great energy in my late thirties and early forties for writing, teaching and other things. If anything my drive went up from my early thirties.
Really, Paul? I hope my drive increases a bit. I mean, I’m working hard, but I feel like I’m plodding along. I’d rather be sprinting!
Life evolves in all its stages, no matter what part of the decade you’re in. Now that I’m approaching the slippery slope toward sixty I only wish that the knowledge I have now was with me back when I was your age. (Where’s the time machine when I need one?)
I’m with Edie. Let yourself adjust, and I’ll add that you shouldn’t fret over the fact that things aren’t like they once were. It’s a mega waste of time and energy. Just soak up the good stuff and enjoy the changes life throws.
Soaking up the good stuff, Kath. Well, a little less of the good stuff, as I’ve been doing too much of that!
I wish I’d known what I know now, twenty years ago. For sure!
I find now I have three jobs, school/teaching, writing, promoting. I really really hate the third one.
Aw, Charles. Pseudonym kinda skips that job. Every day, I say to myself, “I really should do some of that every day.” I’ve said it to myself three times today.
The 30′s? Shoot, the 30′s passed quietly by.
Now for the 40′s, that’s something completely different. I now have the ambition and the drive to do something positive for myself, hence, writing.
G, so many people have said the 40s rock. If it didn’t mean the decline of my fertility, I’d be looking forward to them!
Dude, you were working crazy hours before. This seems more livable. From the ripe old age of 46, I say – enjoy your life. Enjoy Glenn, enjoy the campgrounds, and enjoy your writing. Your goals are always around, waiting to be picked up when you feel like it.
Good point, Robin. This is livable. I like that.
A lot. And hey, I do all my reading in the jacuzzi and call it work! I mean, that’s the life, isn’t it?
Drive or ambition don’t peter out due to age, but due to priorities changing. I did lose a lot of drive and ambition after my mid 30s, but that’s just because I’d pretty much got where I wanted to be in life.
Mine feels like it’s slower, steadier, more patient. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m not going to make myself sick getting there. Whereas before, I’d work until I collapsed.
I found my ambitions grew, but changed direction dramatically, at 40. I suddenly had a burning desire to simplify my life and focus only on what really would bring me peace and happiness. For the past few years, it’s been a raging fire to do only what I WANT to do – i.e., spend time with my daughter before she’s out on her own, create more artwork, write more stories. And trying to figure out how I can do that and still afford to pay bills.