What Is Your Grace?
I’m reading Graceling, by Kristin Cashore. It’s one of those deceptive books, where you think you’re reading a fairly good story, but for the first half you’re a bit puzzled as to why you can’t put it down.
Then BAM! About halfway through, you suddenly realize that this book is one of those books that changes you, one of those books that makes you think about yourself in a new way, one of those books that teaches you something elemental that you can’t quite put you finger on, but you can feel it’s there, working inside you.
And it’s something good.
A “grace” in the book is an extraordinary talent only a few are “cursed” with. Katsa is led to believe her talent is one thing, but halfway through the book, she sits and thinks and studies herself, and realizes her talent is actually something else entirely.
It’s funny, her realization was timed perfectly with my own realization. I was reading along, and for some reason, it occurred to me that the problem I’m having with one of my WIPs is that I’m not empathizing with my characters enough.
As I read further along, I had absolutely no idea where the story was going. In my own writing, this is all but a sin. I’m a “planter.” If a gun goes off at the end, I make sure to place it on the mantle in chapter one. I try to hint at my entire story in the first page, and I try to plant the entire novel in the first chapter. So I was wondering if my stories lack suspense and are predictable.
I decided I would go back and read a few to see.
As I had these two epiphanies, I thought back to those who are big fans of critique partners, because the main reason to have them are to see your work in a different way. It bothers me, sometimes, that I don’t have a burning desire for the whole critiquing thing.
It’s not fashionable.
I love critiquing others’ work, because I learn so much, but to me it’s so close to teaching that I can’t critique their work; they probably wouldn’t get the best of me unless I were their critique partner for a year, or something insane like that, and deconstructed where they are, where they want to go, how to get there, who they are, how they work, and how they learn.
Teaching is so ingrained in me, that critiquing always makes me feel a bit like I’m teaching blindfolded without knowing the student. I know critiquing and teaching are different things, but teaching is me.
But that doesn’t explain why I only ask for help myself rarely and when I’m absolutely desperate or scared. I mean, I love edits. I get a professional crush on most of my professional editors; I think they’re the coolest. Copyeditors, too. People complain about copyeditors, but I love copyedits. They’re fun to play with.
Then I thought about my two epiphanies, and how bored and disappointed I would be if they had come from someone else. I live for these epiphanies; I’m constantly seeking them out, turning my stuff over, looking at it in a different light, analyzing others’ stuff, and deconstructing this writing thing.
I always say I’ll seek out critique partners when I come up empty on how I can improve, but I rarely come up empty.
I realized then my talent isn’t writing; it’s learning, deconstructing, teaching. In piano, I knew how to deconstruct musical talent and teach someone to actually be talented. I can shift my thinking to look at things in a new light. I know how to learn and how to improve. I know how to study others and learn from them.
And that’s not just my “grace,” but my fun, my delight, my raison d’etre.
What is your grace? What is your raison d’etre? Or maybe I mean, what is your raison d’ecrire? (Your reason for writing.)
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Natasha Fondren is a writer traveling the U.S. in a camper with her four cats. She is currently enjoying the lizards and desert heat in Arizona.
The urge to share perhaps?
I will have to think about it.
Oh Bernita, I’d say… I don’t know. More than anyone I can think of, you have a poignant way with words. So evocative and true.
Writing is my way of taking what is inside and putting it outside so that it no longer tears apart the inside but graces the outside.
Writing is a way for me to be what I always wanted to be, what I’ve always been afraid of being, and what I’ve wondered what it would be like to be. And always knowing that it’s temporary and I can be myself again whenever I choose. It’s my perpetual childhood. Living one daydream after another. And finding out what I’m all about in the process.
Oh Bevie, I like that! Did you know I never started sleeping well until I started writing?
That’s really cool. Sometimes, when I’m down or feeling cowardly or whatever, I’ll write who I want to be.
It’s 730 over here, and I’m only on my second cup of coffee. Therefore, no concrete thoughts yet. However, I think one of my graces might be that I notice stuff. I don’t mean that I’m detail-oriented down to the dessert spoons. I mean more that I notice little stuff, and the things people pass by every day, and the stuff we take for granted just because its always been there, and I always stop and contemplate the miracle of it all.
Elizabeth, you ARE really good at noticing things! And little details of things. I always thought that was cool about you. I mean, is cool. What am I saying? You’re still alive, LOL!
Wow! This is the earliest I’ve ever commented on your blog. *stops to take a sip of coffee* This is really gratifying. Now I need a really pithy comment. *takes another sip. wishes there were some buns or something in the house*
I can totally visualize you having a blast going through your writing, self-critiquing and improving it. You might have trouble ordering at the pizza place…oh, yeah! Did I mention I saw the girl at the pizza place for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Anyway… you are the most vigorous, complete and coherent writer I’ve ever read when you “write about writing”. I can’t see what a critiquing partner would add for you. For me, I could use 28 critiquing partners, and a critiquing parakeet.
ROFL, Robin! HAH! That’s hilarious! Is she going to be okay?
I’m sure a critiquing partner would see all sorts of stuff I don’t see, but… I’d rather take a few years longer and discover myself. The discovery is the fun.
I used to teach a student who had a critiquing parrot in the piano room. Oooh boy, I walked out of that house traumatized after every lesson, LOL!
For me, writing is a birth defect. It’s that simple.
Excellent! [smiles]
That rocks, Susan! I totally get that.
I would LOVE to read some of your work! Is it available any where for purchase? I’ll have to google your name when I’m done commenting. And I’ll have to check out Graceling, too. It sounds like a good book & you have good taste in books
As far as your question, I’m not really sure what my grace is. I’ve always had the problem of liking too many things but never being very good at any of them. Maybe my grace is not having any grace…
Kath, my pop culture essays are around. If you like Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich, I’ve got one in Perfectly Plum. In December (I think, I have to double check the latest release date. Oh wait, it’s December right now, isn’t it? LOL!), I have an essay in Ardeur, which is about the Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton.
Now my fiction is another story. It’s erotic and kinky, and I’m so much of a prude, you have to pry it from my fingers.
That could be a grace, liking things. Maybe your grace is curiosity? Or something that encompasses all of it?
I want Robin’s critiquing parrot! I’m needier than you, Natasha. I have fabulous CPs. They catch a lot that I miss. But I critique my own, too, and I’m getting better at catching the bigger stuff as well as the small.
I think my grace is planting seeds and not being aware of them until later. That just happened yesterday. I love my subconscious.
Edie, where I’m neediest, is I need my numbers groups. They help me focus.
I’m not saying I don’t need critique partners, but that I’d rather progress slower and enjoy the lightbulb moments myself. 
Oh that is a COOL grace. No, seriously. I have to manually do that, but it happened to me once, and it was awesome.
For me, I think it’s imagination. Every day I have to let my imgination have free rein or it fights me.
Oh that’s a good one, Charles! When I was in school, I learned how to live in my imagination with an attentive look at the teacher.
Writing is how I see myself, not as a “writer,” but it’s my way of seeing what I look like inside out.
Oh that’s cool, Kath! I really like that. Sometimes, for me, it’s a process of seeing what I would be like in certain situations.
This is a very thought-provoking post. Hmm… in general I’d say one of my graces is being able to make my own decisions about things/people/etc. I read reviews and listen to what my friends have to say, but in the end I make up my own mind.
As a writer? I don’t know. I still feel so new at all this, even though I’ve been saying that for over two years now. Natasha, you’ve read some of my stuff — what do you think?
LOL, Melanie. I’d say, as a person, your wit, which sort of belongs to the “make up your own mind” category. As a writer, I TOLD you, and you wouldn’t believe me!
LOL, it’s okay.
I’m just taking a rare opportunity to tease you. What struck me about your writing is all the wonderful details you provided, both real-life details and fictional details. It was fantastic.
Ohh–I loved Graceling. Fire is great too. Everyone seems to have a writing grace. That’s fantastic.
I think my grace is that I absorb the emotions of those around me. It is definitely a curse. There are some people I can’t even be around, because the are emoting so much!
I started Fire, but I was disappointed that it wasn’t a sequel. I didn’t feel done with Graceling’s characters.
I’ll give it another chance! And I hear you about others’ emotions. Ugh…!
My original reason for writing was simply to work out some excess baggage that I had suddenly began carrying around back in 2006.
Now I’m just simply trying to find a niche in which I can translate my blogging and chat room writing skills effectively.
Writing does help with that, G!
Good luck. I know you’ve spent a lot of time in chat rooms. Wow, hey, maybe you could write a chat room novel, like an epistolary (is that the right word?) novel!
Interesting that you should say that. I’ve had quite a few people mention that I should write a book based on my chat room experiences. Might be something worth exploring in the near future.
Honestly? No idea why I write. It’s probably more about me than anybody else, if I’m totally honest. Writing unearths my soul, or something like that?
Interesting, Betsy! That’s neat.
I only know why I write on some days. Other days I’m not too sure.
Like most writers I see the world differently. I look at a tree and don’t simply see only a tree – a story unfolds. I think that’s why I like solitude so much – quiet, serenity. I’m a happy hermit. I like quiet – no manufactured noises like TV or music (I know, weird). I like natural sounds as well as the simple creaks of my home. Sometimes the world outside my home is too stimulating – my mind whirs on and on. When I DO need inspiration beyond my rich recall, I venture out.
Reenie, I’m not sure what it is… maybe being a musician in my earlier life, but sound can really irritate me. TV makes me crazy. Music is a full-brain activity for me, so having music on in the background also makes me crazy.
I love silence.
Absolutely loved this post Natasha, and I would say that it is of the most insightful posts on writing I’ve come across. Of course, it’s only natural that it comes from someone as talented as you!
I’m not sure how talented I am, Rick, LOL, but THANK YOU!