Natasha Fondren

I am fiercely loyal. To a fault. So the other day, when a friend posted one of those super cute puppy videos, my gut reaction was “Pfffttt. I’m a cat person.”

BUT… I got a puppy! A puppy! A puppy!

When he walks beside me, he sorta bounces happily up and down. It is SO cute. You wouldn’t believe what a good dog he is. In the store, he never tired of interacting with the visiting people, BUT he wasn’t crazy excited, either; he was calm and relaxed.

I got a dog because I always planned to when two of the cats died. Thankfully, they didn’t die, but they’re going to the ex. And I wanted a dog of my own to grin at me and keep me company on my walks. I walk a lot, so why not have a dog?

My biggest fear was that I’d feel tied down, and I’d want to go and do things, but I’d have to worry about letting puppy out. As it turns out, I can’t wait to get home to puppy.

Who wouldn’t want to rush home to unconditional love and adoration? He is SO excited to see me. When I wake up, he RACES across the room, like, “Mommy’s up! Mommy’s up! Mommy’s up!”

But last Wednesday or Thursday, when carrying him out in the morning, I fell off my top step and banged my head on the concrete. My arms were too busy protecting puppy to brace my fall. So I lost about three days of work to a slight concussion, and I was oddly dazed, disoriented, and confused for several days. I mostly slept. It was freaky and surreal. My brain is clear again, but I still can’t run or laugh without the headache returning, so I expect it’ll be awhile before I’m normal again.

He was SO good though: he just patiently and happily sat in my arms after the fall, like “that was an interesting way to exit the RV!” After a few minutes, I was able to utter a whimper, and he licked my face.

His name is Padfoot Atari Worf, or P.A.W. I couldn’t decide between the three.

I luvs the puppy so much! He’s a cutie, right? It’s not just my bias?

If you’re my Facebook friend, this won’t be news to you: Glenn and I split up after ten years. It’s been a year-long process, but everything was wrapped up and finished today. Emotionally, we did a really good job of ending it. No fights or insults or uglinesses.

I felt like I moved on in January or so, but a lot of his stuff was still here, so it didn’t feel as over as it was. I’m a minimalist and live in a small space, so it is a big difference to feel his stuff gone.

What’s weird is that with his stuff gone and two of my cats gone, I suddenly feel, to myself, like the person I was ten years ago. It’s almost as if the last ten years didn’t happen, except I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and teach a bunch of piano students.

It’s good.

Now I’m just working hard to save money so that I can have children. Loving the ebook production world, and trying to write enough so that I can pay all the bills with my royalties by January 2013.

Of course I want it all: husband, kids, love, sex, happy ever after. I’m real healthy and doing yoga—I feel in the best shape of my life—so I have a good amount of time left, but I can’t putz around. The new-fangled dating world isn’t for me, honestly. I’m focused on creating my happy ever after, and if a guy comes along and sweeps me off my feet, then a.w.e.s.o.m.e.

If not, then I can do most of it myself. I’ll make an awesome mom. My whole life has been preparing for this.

Isn’t it funny? If I could talk to my 20-year-old self, she’d be appalled that I’m not a full-time musician anymore and that all I want with my whole heart is a family.

I’m a little bit scared, but mostly excited. I’ve never wanted anything this much in my life. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get it. But then I’ve always been better at getting what I want if I don’t have a backup plan.

Have you been through a big split? Huge life change? Any advice?

So in the split, I’m losing two of my cats. And so, since I’ve always wanted a dog, and since I bug all dog walkers by interrupting their walk so I can pet and hug their dogs, and since I walk around my RV Park to pet and hug all the dogs, I thought I’d finally get a dog of my own.

And on Petfinder, I accidentally tripped across an ad that said IF THIS DOG IS NOT ADOPTED BY 5PM IT WILL BE EUTHANIZED.

And I felt horrible.

I felt awful.

I could save a life, and I’m not. But it’s not the right dog, and I’m not ready today, but maybe I should be. I don’t know. I understand the workers do that because they want someone to save the dog, but it’s an awful thing to do.

And that led me to Tucson’s only No-Kill Shelter: HOPE.

And I thought, maybe, since we’ve all asked for and donated funds for our various causes over the years, that maybe, you might want to send them a dollar or two, if you can.

And I’m trying to work out this puzzle: if I adopt from a kill shelter, I save an animal from being euthanized, but I’m supporting a shelter that kills. If I adopt from a non-kill shelter, then I’m not saving an animal from euthanization, but I’m supporting a no-kill shelter.

How do you solve that puzzle?