I’d love to be Meryl Streep or Diane Keaton someday, and I definitely want to embrace aging, and I’m totally going to be one of those old ladies in the hot pink hats, but just for this period of six or so years, I’d like it to slow the freakin’ heck down.
This birthday coming up (not until the sixth of October) marks the first birthday that I’m nervous for. Whew! nervous. My stomach is churning with butterflies. I’m a little emotional about it, actually, although I think my hormones are going freaking nuts. It’s like they’re banging at me going, “Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies! NOW! NOW! NOW!”
Last year I changed my career after 26 years. (Musicians start young, and I started late for piano.) This year? I don’t know. My best friend said I needed a motto, so I’ve chosen “live boldly.”
No matter how hard life gets or what crap I have to go through, I’m just going to have fun this year, take advantage of every opportunity that comes knocking, and enjoy every person I meet.
Honestly, this age is pretty awesome. I love life more than I’ve ever loved life. I can’t get enough of it, I love life so much! I’m so enthusiastic about everything, and I’m happy–so happy. I’m so lucky in so many ways. Sometimes I think of the people who’ve helped me change my life in the last year, and I’m just so grateful I want to cry.
Life isn’t even close to perfect or even where I want it to be, but I’m still very happy and loving every moment of it.
The late thirties are totally awesome in that way.
I’m also enjoying people so much more at this age. Even the weird ones. Pretty much I figure that if you managed to get through the first thirty years of your life, if you managed to even semi-survive it, I’m impressed. I mean, life is no easy cake walk. The fates can be rather cruel. I sort of expect us all to have little quirks and bits of crazy. How could we not have?
So I feel more compassionate and loving and accepting of people. Maybe it’s the working alone, but when I get out, I just love talking with and interacting with people. We’re all walking miracles, really.
While staring at thirty-seven, I’ve decided it’s going to be the best year of my life thus far. And more than that, I’m going to make it so myself, and I’m not waiting for any person or anything to make it happen.
I’m going to jump off every cliff and take every risk, no matter how much they scare me. At this age, what have I got to lose?
So what about you? Do you remember an age you were nervous for? Ever feel time breathing down the back of your neck? Was there an age where you said “Fuck it! I’m going for it all!”?